April’s Fools
Dated: 12 April 2026
Greetings, dear listeners of the realm,
Your humble scribe returns a bit earlier in the month than planned. It seems there has been quite a stir in the realm lately, and I wanted to discuss it before the rumors being spread fully take over the minds and hearts of the good people of Illyria.
The Fall in the House of TDF
Unfortunately, I feel the need to start this issue of the IllyQuill with something somber and serious. The Dragon Forest has become a victim of deforestation. Allegedly, from multiple confidential yet trustworthy sources, an April Fools joke went terribly awry. On April 1st, Geshep, the leader of TDF, had changed the name of the alliance to “SHART” for an April Fools Day joke. He changed the Alliance info page, added pictures, etc. It was funny, and well-planned. This scribe enjoyed witnessing it, and even let out an audible chuckle. However, things took a turn. A certain player (who I will not name, but he knows who he is, as do most of my readers) made an alliance, took the TDF name, and changed his name to Geshep. (notice the period). The actual Geshep, already being overwhelmed with the previous drama in Illyriad took that as his cue to leave. It’s very unfortunate, and he will be terribly missed by many. Before this “final straw” there had already been drama regarding another TDF leader and a miscommunication (see previous article from March). The timing of these events, being back-to-back, is quite unfortunate, and it has drained the numbers of the TDF crew, and caused more than a few players to abandon. It was almost as if TDF had a shellfish allergy, and someone snuck some crab into a shared entrée, and withheld the epinephrine.
Copious Copepods
Speaking of small crustaceans, it seems as though some players may be trying to make up for their inadequacies by putting other players down. Notably, a former leader of TDF is being blamed for not only Geshep leaving, but another player as well. This writer has it on impeccable authority that this is propaganda. It presents that after Geshep left, BuhLikesNachos was left “holding the reins” of TDF. Per my source, BuhLikesNachos was “upset, disheartened, mad and unhappy. We talked a few times but he just wasn’t into the game anymore. I log on one day to see him sending me a bunch of stuff. I knew then he was about to abandon… I offered to sit him for a while so he could walk away. He [wouldn’t] respond to any of [my mails]. Then the morning of the 11th I log on to see he’s online and he is sending me more stuff. He sends me a mail and while I’m responding he abandons. He was a good friend and ally in this game and he will be missed very much.” Other players, who were not in TDF and obviously do not wish to take the blame for issues they have helped cause, are blaming it on Fiona leaving, and saying that the downfall of TDF is entirely the fault of the newly formed alliance, BRUTE, who was made up of a lot of former TDF members, Fiona included. They are saying that this was planned and some sort of mutiny, instead of looking in the mirror and seeing that their toxicity has contributed at least 2 helpful people to leave our realm. To me, knowing all of the information that I do, the downfall of TDF resembles a case of the Cymothoa exigua (tongue-eating louse) that attaches to the host’s tongue and slowly kills it. However, the lice are the parties that have been placing the blame on others instead of where it truly lies – on their own slimy shoulders.
The End of the Plains Meta?
As detailed in the most recent Dev update on the forums (https://forum.illyriad.co.uk/topic11263_post112772.html#112772) the “plains meta” will be changing. To sum it up, very simply, cavalry has long been overpowered on plains terrain. This change will reduce that upper-hand and make the battles on plains a bit more level. This has caused quite a lot of discussion in the Global Chat, as well as Discord and the Forums. Some players are for it, some are asking for more changes. It will be interesting to see how this plays out when the change is implemented. One notable request, from Ashi in Discord is that “Knights need balancing by quadrupling their attack and doubling their speed.” Can’t blame one for trying 😉
Demon Invasion Update
To provide an update on the previously mentioned player-ran tournament, the Demon Invasion hosted by our own Mad God, Sheogorath, which runs until April 28th – the player with the highest kill/death ratio is Bert jr. Coincidentally, the player with the lowest kill/death ratio is also Bert jr. In first place is The Last Daughter, second is currently Nelsifer Muledwun, and third is Bertimus Prime. Other standings can be viewed here (Demon Invasion Tournament 2026 – Google Drive)
In closing – I want to stress that I am not getting much through this site in the ways of tips and secrets… the observations I make are from my eyes and ears only. As always, I try to be as unbiased as possible, but I do call things like I see them. The realm’s tabloid would benefit from more than one perspective, so I implore you to please submit tips through the option on the site. One day I hope to have a forum account to make it easier, but for now this is what I have.
Until next time,
— The IllyQuill 🪶
The Quilly 